(500) Days of Summer

I watched the movie last Friday with my friends from GMA. I really really liked the movie. It was so close to reality. It's kinda scary though coz I share most of Summer's views about love and relationships. I also have a bit of Tom's character in me, if it's any consolation. I'm a hopeless romantic just like him. [EEEEEW!]

photo from: www.collider.com

FURIOUS

please don't mind this post... im just mad and i have to get this heavy thing out of my chest...

Ok I've had it! I'm so mad at someone from....... somewhere...

OO NA MAGALING KA NA! OO NA MAGALING NA KAYONG LAHAT! WALANG KATULAD!

ALAM KO KUNG TALO TALO!

OO NA ISIP BATA AKO! OO NA NASAKTAN AKO! OO NA PIKON NA AKO!

GALIT AKO SA MUNDO!!!

PERO NGAYON... MAS GALIT AKO SA YO!!!

CAN I VANISH RIGHT NOW? PLEASE?

kamusta naman ang pamemersonal?

kung tutuusin mas immature pa kayo kesa sa akin!

kapag kaya natulog ako mawawala na ito?

CONGRATULATIONS VL SALLE

First of all, I would like to congratulate DLSU for winning.

I cried. Yeah, funny, I know. I didn't just cry, I cried like a baby for around 30mins or so. I don't know why I did. I just felt like it. My mom thought that I have lost it.

We lost and it really hit me hard. I know it was just basketball but still, I don't know, I kinda meant a lot for me I guess.

I know that basketball games do not determine the quality of the school, neither can it say something about the school's students, but right now, I feel that it can.

I am still depressed right now. I feel like I'm in deep shit and I think that that loss just added to what I have been feeling (ever since July 07). I feel like I'm the worst person ever. I have been avoiding people. I have been crying a lot alone. I don't want to see my barkada. I don't want to talk to them. As much as possible, I don't want people talking to me since they might ask questions that would probably make me wish I would vanish.

You see, whenever I am with my friends, they would always gang up on me since I am the only one who went to Ateneo. Although I just laugh at them, truth is I am affected. If people gang up on you every time you meet, I think it would somehow affect you too. That is why right now I want to prove something to myself first. Maybe when that time happens, I would finally be able to face people.

I am such a DRAMA QUEEN. I know. That's just how it is.

Anyway... enough of the drama.

FACT: Ateneo won 3 of their 5 games versus La Salle. (Although they lost games that really mattered)

WIN OR LOSE, IT'S THE SCHOOL WE CHOOSE!
ANIMO ATENEO!
GO ATENEO! ONE BIG FIGHT!
MASARAP MAGING ATENISTA!!!

It was a Saturday...

My Saturday started out pretty normal. I was not able to go to the derma though. Well… I was supposed to go to a party that night. Kwey and Denise planned this triple birthday bash for Joph, Macoy, and their friend Bim. I actually helped them look for a place. I also designed their magazine cover Birthday card. The thing is one horrible thing happened before I was about to go to the party.

There is this block rosary thing in our village. Well it was scheduled to leave our house last Saturday. We did not know that A LOT of our neighbors would come to our house to get it coz when it came to our house, there were only three people who came and we prepared a lot of food. Anyway, they all came 15 minutes before 8pm, almost dinner time. I was still in the bathroom, taking a bath, when I heard our doorbell ring. They all entered out house immediately. I could not go to my room to dress up coz they will all see me virtually naked! My helper and I had this long discussion on what to do. Finally, she figured that she would just get me some clothes. So I went out the shower wearing a pink collared shirt and short brown shorts. My hair was very wet. BASANG SISIW look. They were all staring at me! I casually went down and lead the farewell prayer for Mary. After that, they told me at I had to bring the Statue to the next house. I called my helper and then this sungit lady said “ikaw dapat ang magdadala nyan.” Fine ok if that’s what you want! My gosh! Thanx for being super sungit and angas! You didn’t even realize that you guys came at a very bad time in the first place. I was freakin’ taking a bath and you guys come intruding my private space! And you guys even have the guts to be super angas! Damn! Not yet done though. We went to the next house and all the lights were closed. They still insisted on ringing the doorbell. The helper was the only one in the house so one of them led the prayer. After the prayer, they had the guts to make cruel remarks such as:

Kawawa naman si Mama Mary, wala na nga tao sa pinanggalingan, wala pag tao sa pinuntahan. (Uh… the statue came from my house. I’m a homeowner. Hindi ako tao?)

Last week nga birthday nya eh ni hindi man lang sha nadasalan. Sana sa bahay ko na lang! (Um… ok… so sana hindi nyo na nililipat ng house diba? Augh!!!)

And they said those in front of me!!! Hay nako.. That’s why I don’t go out of the house eh… Anyway enough said….

So there... I ran towards my house, ate dinner, then thought on whether I would go to the party or not. My mom kept on telling me to go. Actually, she was almost driving me out of the house. But then due to the earlier incident plus Ateneo lost to NU plus my gigantic issues with myself, I decided not to go. Anyway, Happy Birthday to Joph and Macoy!!! And Timmy! And Bim na din ;)

My Past Life Analysis

Your past life diagnosis:
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Portugal around the year 1750. Your profession was that of a sailor or shoemaker.


Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Inquisitive, inventive, you liked to get to the very bottom of things and to rummage in books. Talent for drama, natural born actor.


The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
The world is full of ill and lonely people. You should help those, who are less fortunate than you are.

Do you remember now?

(saw it in Maiky's blog)

take us to the nearest beach

I WON!!! yeah... i won a pair of slippers from havaianas. the beach acrobatics paid off. hehe. i submitted our grande island photo. the people in the photo were megan, mel, and me. we just set the timer in mel's camera i think.


the box with my name on it



the "limited edition" slippers...

COOL!!! I actually won something! coolnesssss.....

frustrated

yeah... right now i am so frustrated! after almost a year i have only done 1 project... how lame can i get? what's wrong with me? so close yet so far... do i look like im in the middle of age groups? is there something wrong with my face? my teeth perhaps? or my nose? or my cheeks? is it my height? do i lack confidence?

My mom told me "marami pang iba jan..." yeah i know but still.. i must be worth something right? hay i don't know na... i'll try to be more confident... i'll try my best to fix my flaws... the natural way of course...

Something to lift my spirits though... By the time I complete all my requirements I will officially become an employee of a TV Station... yup! I'll be in post production... It will be the start of my career in production... hopefully... fingers still crossed...

i believe that...
GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT!

Pasig Day -- Holiday

I thought I would have more me time today. I planned on watching a Korean movie and an episode of a Korean series. Unfortunately, I had to go to TriNoma to have a check-up at the Medical City. I have been complaining about the lower right of my tummy since May 1. Turns out I got mild UTI. I think it was due to my "kaartehan" with public toilets. Oh well, serves me right.

Anyway, we went there before lunch. We intended to go home before 3 coz of the number coding scheme but then the doctor came in at 2pm so we had to stay at TriNoma until 7pm. We went around the mall, looked at shoes and ate merienda. We went to the top floor to see the new food stalls. I was hoping that Max Brenner was open but tough luck. We decided to have some Cold Rock instead. I found a yummy combination! Strawberry yogurt with cookie dough or fudge brownies. YUMMY!!!
After eating, I went to Bench FIX to have my hair fixed. I had a haircut yesterday at Profiles Katipunan together with my mom and both our hair were destroyed. Grrrr..... I like the stylists in FIX better. They are very knowledgeable in the styling business. hehehe.. I sooo like my hair now. I thanked the stylist a couple of times coz he was able to fix my weird haircut.

We went to my grandma's house at west ave to pick up something before finally going home. After writing this entry, I'll watch my Korean stuff. hehehe...

***

Last Tuesday, I went to Metrowalk with Mia to kill time (number coding din ako pag Tuesday). Had lots of fun. Chill lang. Sakto! I love you Mia! Super thanx for the company. Hope you find the perfect job for you soon.

***

I'm so excited to get my hands on my pair of Melissa Esmeralda shoes in B&W polka dots. To know more about Melissa, visit www.melissaphilippines.com. I love their shoes. Ultra comfy though a bit pricey, I still think it's worth it.
***

I finally have time to watch my Korean stuff. Ciao!

long overdue

Well.. basically.. il put things that happened to me the past 2 weeks in this post so...

Holy Week:
We went to Cavite to relax. We stayed in Microtel (for free) and went swimming in Eagle Ridge. Loved their pool. We also went fishing. And... Good Friday, had dinner in Sonya's Garden since Eagle Ridge was closed. We then stopped over at Leslie's for lunch on our way back to Manila.

Eagle Ridge

Sonya's
Leslie's

We wanted to stay home but then my sick grandfather and needed a nebulizer so we rushed to their house. On our way, we met an accident. I have been driving for 4 years and it was my 1st time to get into a serious accident. Good thing we had our seatbelts on or else we would have been covered in blood. I did not panic (yeah shocking!). I immediately called my uncle for help. Then I dialed 117 to report what happened. The police came shortly after I made the call. WOW! I really did not expect them to respond fast. Guys, beware of U-turn slots and jeepneys and always wear your seatbelts!

My mom did not get mad at me since she knew that I always follow rules. She knew it was not my fault. Thanks ma! Anyway, we delivered the nebulizer after the incident.

Tuesday night:
Got a text from my aunt informing me that my granpa just passed away. He was able to use the nebulizer but I guess he was really too tired. It was time for him to rest. We rushed to their place to help them in taking care of stuff.

Thursday:
We went to the wake for the 1st time. My dad and my uncle (my 'acting' father) made up. They were like best friends again. Which is really cool!

Saturday:
After the necro(which i filmed), we decided to drink and play cards. I got a bit drunk and I lost 50 pesos in our card game.. hehehe.. An 8 year old kid (Toni, my 2nd cousin) beat us all! Hustler!
Yesterday:
I went out. We were supposed to hang out as a barkada (heps only) but then my friend's friends was about to leave so we ended up in Marina. I got pissed coz I did notreally know most of the people and I had absolutely NO IDEA on everything they talked about. I was so out of place! I really hated the feeling. And one of my friends assured me that we would go and have coffee after but then it was already 12:30am and they still drinking and chatting! I am not really fond of beer so I did not drink. I was not really in the mood. And I hated the feeling of being out of place. I was just so pissed!!! So... I walked out. I went straight home. I did not get my coffee fix. And my friend/s got mad at me (I think). I did not like the way I acted. I was so cranky. I was like a brat. But then, if you were on my shoes, i think you might do the same thing. It was not about not getting my coffee and Kopi bun, it was about being out of place. I acted that way coz I was so lost. But i guess they did not get it. So guys, if you get to read this, sorry. I just hate the feeling of being OP. It's been an issue to me since I was in high school. I really have to let it go!!!!!

Anyway, there is a new dessert place in Katipunan called Banapple. They offer delish desserts at very affordable prices. It's just across Kopi Roti. Parking is a problem though. I liked their Banoffee pie, blueberry cheesecake, apple crumble, and strawberry chessecake. ;)

strawberry cheesecake

Banoffee pie (Php65)

blueberry cheesecake

I love taking pictures. I've been trying to learn photography with the help of my cousin, Marco Abesamis. I just want to share this picture. I have been trying to take a picture wherein lights trail and I am quite satisfied with this one.

My next post should be a beach trip post.. I am dying to go to a beach!!!

Graduating

4 years ago, I just finished high school. I was not sure where to go. Was I to choose the color green or the color blue. After the days of thinking, I finally decided that I would go and enroll in THE ATENEO. Well, it was nearer our place, that was why. My brother also studies there. It would save us a lot of money if I were to go there. We were able to save school bus expenses. That was important since we are not rich. So, I ended up studying in Ateneo, although studying in La Salle would result to finishing earlier.

Now, our 4-year stay in the Ateneo has finally ended. No more fear of getting an F. No more cramming for a project or an exam. No more nerve-wracking orals. No more memorization of formulae. No more hanging out in Macci or SOM Mall. No more researching in the lib. No more long lines in the xerox machines. No more hanging out in 11F. No more ranting and raving on teachers and subjects. NADA! We are done with college. It feels like the 4-years have gone by faster than I expected.

It was a very colorful journey. There were a lot of ups and downs. Yeah very cliche but then it's true. We had a few squabbles along the way but they are all forgotten now. In the end, I have made a lot of friends in the Ateneo. I could not have made it without them. I was ready to give up anytime if it weren't for their words of encouragement.

Thanks Ateneo Batch 07. Thanks ACTM. Thanks Kaingin. Thanks BS CTM 07. Thanks Arwan. Thanks Vikki, Cuepo, Tiff, Megan, Mel, Anj, Nikki, Nat, Mariam, Katsy, Kwey, Denise, Macoy, Denic, Pau B. Ebs, Roy, Maan, Ria, Sam, Ago, Lionel, Timmy, Cecil G., C.Ma, Frances, Zia, RJ, Ginel, Patz, Endang, Esther..... ("....." - others I forgot due to my faulty memory)

I would never forget the lessons I have learned. Lessons that were taught due to the curriculum and the side lessons about life.

I would never forget...

...the terror and anger that I felt due to Theo 151. Yes, that was Ms. Tessa Rosana's class. I thought I was going to fail that. I worked my butt off just for that subject. At that time, I felt like I was majoring in Theology and not in Management.

...the fun I had in my Philosophy classes, especially in philo 103 and 104. My teachers, Hermida and Miroy, really made philosophy very insightful and fun.

...philo 101 and 102. I would never forget Mark Lawrence Cruz. He was the first teacher in school that I talked to, while crying, because I THOUGHT I would fail his class. And of course Mr. Soh, my Malaysian teacher.

...the time when I went to UP to sell monay, lumpia, and other fried food. I loved the experience and I got to learn more about life.

...Father Pat Giordano's class. He is as cute as a teddy bear!!! He loved talking about Gawad Kalinga. He loved joking around (F baby, F!) but he was serious about the issues in the Philippines although he is American.

...my theo group mates and how our immersion in Bataan bonded us.

...CTK wherein I learned that you could get mad at a friend and still stay friends. Being friends is different from being professional. "Business is business" is not just a saying. It can happen in real life.

...my Visual Thinking class with Mr Randy Solis. The dream project was really fun. I got to do something that I have always wanted to do. But.... the creative journal was a pain!!!!

...our Comm Concert dubbed "Flashback"

...our Western History Medieval Fair where we got to ware cute Medieval dresses.

...our Statistics class with Dr. Khanser. INSANITY

...our Accounting and Finance exams. 6-9pm!!!

...my first D (1st year 1st sem) in Dr. Quimpo's Algebra class. He made algebra harder than anything else.

...my first A (1st year 1st sem) in my Chemistry Lab class. (though I forgot the teacher)

...my D in PE Volleyball!!!

...my Buffy class with Andrew Ty. A Baby!!!

... my film classes with Father Nic Cruz, Mr. MTRCB.

...my production classes with my favorite Ms. Chichi Robles.

and a lot more...

I can truly and whole-heartedly say that I have learned a lot from the school I chose. Although I was not a dean's lister, I knew that I enjoyed my stay and I have learned the most valuable lessons a student had to learn. Your grade is not an accurate measure of how much you have learned. It is only you who would know how much you have really learned in the process.

I loved what Father Nebres said (quoting a scholar) "armed with an Ateneo diploma, who needs super powers?"

I have one of the best super powers a person could ever have... a college degree!

Congratulations to BATCH 2007! ;-)

COMTECH R1 Batch 2007 signing off..........

happeningsss:

Yes, my dad came to my graduation. So everyone was there. My mom, dad, tito, sister, and brother. Wow!

Papa, Pauline, Poj and I went to Burgoo Tomas Morato to eat dinner. 20% discount baby! hahaha.. I saw a lot of Ateneans there including Megan, Mel,and Anj. It was probably because of our 20% discount coupons. hahaha!

Yesterday, April 1, We had lunch with the Abesamis people in Crab Claw Daddy's in Shangri-la. Great Food!!! I love seafood so the king and queen samplers were to die for. Their baby back ribs were good too! And I drank their homemade vanilla cream soda. Yumm!!! After lunch we went around the mall. I bought a little Phoebe Bratz figure. hehe.. (college graduate?) Then we ate in C2 for merienda. Their service was horrendous! But the food was delish! headed home afterwards since we had to hear mass. It's holy week once again. Time to repent and make little sacrifices.


random thought: I want to go to different beaches!

gusto ko maging bata

pwede bang bumalik sa pagkabata? kahit sa high school lang...

gusto ko sana tamain ung mga mali na ginawa ko. yung mga kagag*han ng teenager. baka mas masaya ako ngayon. baka sakali lang. hindi na ba pwede ibahin yung mga nangyari noon? burahin ung mga hindi kanais-nais. natuto na ako sa mga pagkakamali na yon eh. pero bakit matapos ang lahat ng pagsisisi at pag mumuni-muni, hindi na talaga maibabalik sa dati ang lahat.

sana hindi na lang ako tumanda. dahil kasama ng pagtanda ang lahat ng komplikadong problema. oo. komplikado na ang lahat. nakakaloka. kahit isang araw lang sana bumalik ako sa pagkabata.

tanong lang sa isang kaibigan: bakit ganun? nandun naman kami diba? bakit kailangan mo pa maghanap ng ibang taong mapagsasabihan? hindi ko na talaga gets ang mundo. ang labo. sana talaga hindi na lang tayo tumanda!


diba?

self pity mode once again

Ok.. so it was my sister's 18th Birthday yesterday. I had to much fun. And I'm sure she did too.
Anyway, her debut was planned. It was a Bratz themed party. She had so many guests. Which led me to having this self pity mode once again.

You see, my debut was a surprise party. It was because i did not really want to celebrate it. WHY? Well parties need planning and they cost a lot. I did not want to have a party since we are not that rich. I thought it was just a waste of money. And another reason why i did not want to celebrate is because I was afraid that no one would come. Yup!!! This is still my fear up til now. Whenever I think of something, I feel that no one will buy it. (That was why when there were a lot of people in the ARWAN XMAS party, I was super dee duppery happy)

Just a few minutes ago, my mom was asking me why i did not have as much gifts as my sister. Well, my barx is kuripot i think (yeah we all are, im sure of that). But then, I thought to myself, maybe not that much people care about me. I don't know. I don't really know what to think. But I still defended my friends. I told her that gifts were not important as long as we know deep inside that we are real friends to one another. Yeah, cheesy!

Anyway, right now I am wondering if i die, would people come and visit me? Well, when i die i want to be cremated pronto. So that there would be no funeral. So that no one would know if people actually knew me or not.

Is is the number of friends you have that is important or is it the quality of the relationships that you have?

I admit that I am a bit jealous since she is always the center of attention in her circle of friends. She is more people oriented than I am. She has great leadership skills. She has been president of a club for two times. Her friendster network is so huge. She always has a hectic schedule.

**Pauline, Happy Birthday!!! I am proud of you.***

Me? Well virtually, i do not exist i guess.

Can't i live in my own little world where everybody knows me?

Right now, i just feel like useless crap! I am FAILURE personified.

*sigh*

Welcome 2007

Happy New Year to everyone!!!

I'm saying goodbye to 2006. A lot has happened. The year started ok. I had fun when i was left alone in the house. I experienced paying the bills and buying things for the house and calling a repairman to fix things in the house. I was able to make my own computer. I also discovered a lot about my friends. I was able to make new friends. I had my grad picture taken. Arwan, my block, finally had its Christmas party. My family struggled with finances but still made it. The year was a rollercoaster ride. There were a lot ups and downs. Farewell 2006.

Hello 2007!!! I hope that this year would be filled with more happiness. I would really love to travel this year. I want to go to an Asian country. I am saving up for that. I also would love to buy a new laptop. I hope I could get a job that would fit my objectives. Of course, I want to graduate on time. And one more thing, please, please, please, let me find the one i have been looking/waiting for.

***Happy Birthday Bea***